Why did I write A Man's Field Guide To Dating? I found myself single again after several years of marriage. Like many others I simply stumbled into the world of dating and made lots of mistakes. I also met some wonderful people.
The whole process fascinated me. I discovered that most people were as mystified by dating and relationships as I was. I talked about this incessantly with my friends and colleagues. What do women want? Why do we behave the way that we do? Why
guys commit? You have heard all of the questions.
I reviewed the literature in the bookstore. There are many excellent books about relationships — how to fix them, how to improve them. There are some good books about dating. However, most of them were written by women for women. The ones
that did address both genders still seemed to emphasize the problems from a woman’s point of view. I really couldn’t find one that would help me improve my dating life as a man. I thought that guys would appreciate a book that approached
the subject purely from a male perspective.
I have always enjoyed the company of women and have nurtured platonic friendships with them when I could. Often I would receive desperate calls late at night asking for my advice “as a guy.” I thought that it would be a lot simpler
if the guy in question were in the loop. Then I could get more sleep. This book includes many of the insights I gleaned from these tearful conversations. Now I can just suggest that her boyfriend read the book before she calls.
I asked dozens of women to read the manuscript before we published. They were brutally honest. Because of this, I feel very confident that the ideas presented here are valid. They are telling you what they want. You only have to listen and adjust.
I wish I had had this information years ago. Why is the book written in first-person plural? (We) I had so much help from friends and family that I could not represent these ideas and suggestions as purely my own. Much of the information is conventional
wisdom. I was not comfortable speaking to you as an individual. Many women contributed their thoughts and feelings to these pages. You get the benefit of their honest perspectives on dating. That is who the “we” is.
I sincerely wish you the best in your search for happiness. Being single and dating can be a wonderful period in your life. It’s all up to you and how you look at it. People don’t date enough. Guys are afraid of rejection. They don’t
extend enough invitations. (Women say “no” too often, but that’s another story.) It is my hope that this book will have some impact on the problem. Date more. Enjoy yourself. Make as many women smile as possible. I think that
will make everyone happier, especially your mom.
Robert Wray, 2012